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Why I'm polyamorist.

By Arsenius 1609 days ago Comments (1)

At very beginning. In my years of youth a started become notice that even if was in a teen-age romance with someone I still feeling that I wanted to fall in love in someone else without break up with existing relationships. I was experiencing emotional attraction to girls even if I love someone very much. I can't remember situation that I loved only woman without no romantic or sexual interests to others (may be only short period of time few months). Initially I was thinking I'm mentally ill and tried to avoid situations like this in my life.

Before I met my first bachelor's wife I took classes in dating and pick up and seduction. It helped me to overcome my constraints and find the girl which I got married. But in few ears later in my marriage life I realized that I'm polyamorist. It was a day a great joy and excitement. It was a day of celebration of who I am. Love more than one person romantically, emotionally and physically is normal for human being and absolutely nothing wrong with it. It was gradual process before I accepted myself as polyamorous. It was a lot blind spot and misunderstandings before I chose to live polyamory lifestyle. No parents, no school, and no friend and even my university and colleagues didn't give at least information that non-monogamy is real and it work as serous, consensual, ethical, and responsible relationships. Our society has strong dogma that serous relationships can be work with only one person which is not true and few real examples actually truly refute this beliefs. I don't think that something wrong with monogamy, no. I just think that monogamy is also normal as non-monagamy and both should be acceptable. Most of the people don't think so and see it quite limited just as sexual relationships with nothing serious without deep love. Some consider it having fun, most as indecent. Good explanation and research why it like this I found in this book.

In year later I divorced with my first wife and went for adventure to polyamory. Reason was not only polyamory, she totally didn't want to go where I go, and I didn't want to go where she go, our path became in opposite directions. I did a lot of mistakes and broke hearts. But finally through pain and disappointments I came across this book (thanks a lot my second wife): Conversations with God (all three parts, this author). This awesome book of wisdom gave me so much inspiration and so touched me and made a move of myself and gave approach in my polyamory and cast the light on some of my suffering and unconsciousness and my misconception on intimate relationships, love and god :) Plus I found in this book a lot of my thoughts (or god thoughts?) which so strong reflected in my heart before I red this book. And what is more in this book considering society which very close with mindset to Venus Project.

And most of fundamental thing i picked up during this years in my experience in Polyamory (since 2009) that no matter what result I will get, but real matter how I gain experience, express and realize myself and who I am through love, relationships and sexuality. And being monogamous I can't reflect and see everything of me in one person. For me being monogamous is like being to love with only one of my child and ignore another, to love only one of my parent and ignore another. And I feeling so much love and compassion that I just can't hold it inside in myself and like rain cloud I just to pour out inheriting outside. Because so much to give.  

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